The Midnight News 5.04.01 

Posted By Hyatte on 05.04.01

The WWF wrestlers go to court, WCW may really be gone, Hugh is mad, Rocky's talking, Hires, Fires, and moi 

Hello. It's another rather quiet news day, but I found some stuff for you to check out, and maybe a chuckle or two.

I have to admit, I'm having fun at this. 

Okay, let's roll with the news before I get a hankering to start ragging on web writers.

SMACKED DOWN FOR THE WEEK

I didn't see it, but who can argue with a show that features the Undertaker kicking arse and taking names? Who? You? I don't think so, pallie!

Sean McCluskey did see it, and the little squirt even recapped it. It's up now and has probably been up since 10:01 last night. Read it.

JUDGE, JURY, AND UNDERTAKER

I read something in a recent Torch Newsletter that you will find interesting.

It seems that the WWF Wrestlers have their own "Court System" in place where they take staff and talent to a locker room "Court" where grievances are discussed, prosecuted, and defended. One wrestler represents the "Prosecution" and another "Defends" the employee who is being tried, or the Plaintiff can defend on his own behalf, if wished. 

For instance, a month ago, Edge, Christian, and WWF writer Brian Gewertz were all put on trial. E & C for "ass kissing" Gewertz by plying him with gifts in exchange for quality air time. Gewertz was charged with accepting the bribes and giving the team big air time. Justin Bradshaw acted as Prosecutor while the three men represented themselves. The Court is treated seriously, but since it's really just a forum for the locker room to air it's grievances in front of everyone, it was also handled with a touch of lightness. Edge and Christian all made amends with good humor. Gewertz was bitched at by many wrestlers, including a very angry Hardcore Holly and was sent a clear message. 

The Undertaker serves as the Judge, and the Torch Newsletter hinted that he may have devised this concept. UT has lived through times when the WWF locker room was a den of backstabbing, politics, and horrible moral. He is the most respected wrestler in the WWF and does whatever he can to keep moral as positive as possible. If the WWF was a Professional Sports team, he would be "Team Captain"

Vince McMahon, who made Gewertz attend the trial when he tried to get out of it, loves this system. 

When informed about this, OJ Simpson said, "The next time I kill someone, I hope I am tried in front of the Undertaker!" 

WE CAN'T START MISSING HIM IF HE'S EVERYWHERE

Rocky Maivia is all over the place plugging his movie debut. He did The Leno Show this week. I'm sure Jay grilled him with intensity not seen since the Spanish Inquisition.

He's also doing The Late, Late Show with Craig Kilborn Friday night.... well, technically Saturday morning. He's be a part of MadTV on Saturday night AND was be the subject of MTV Diaries last night at 10:30. Of course, since MTV never produced a show it didn't think was better than anything Jerry Seinfeld did, you can expect the channel to re-run the "Diary" about 23 times over the weekend.

Rocky also spoke to USA Today the other day. After admitting to Movieline that he basically would drop Wrestling like a bad habit if his movie career takes off, Duane Johnson must have gotten an earful from the WWF's Publicity Department and made it clear that he'll be dropping Elbow's on behalf of the People for a long time. His exact words were, "I can honestly say I'll never leave the WWF. I will always have ties there." Rocky also told the paper that he is looking into doing an Action/Comedy movie with Chris Tucker. 

Has anyone told Rocky that there's a Strike coming and Hollywood won't be making any Action/Comedy movies for quite a while?

IT'S ALL A WORK

There is still no announcement as to when the WWF will debut the "New" WCW. Word is that they may just kill the idea altogether and use WCW talent for a big time NWOish "Invasion" angle for the WWF.

The problem is that the WWF is starting to lose it's luster. Slipping ratings for both Raw and Smackdown along with pressure from the PTC means that Vince's phone number is starting to come off the speed dial of various Viacom heads. The disappointing XFL has done quite a number on Vince's rep as a "Marketing Genius", too. All this adds up to the WWF having trouble securing a time slot for WCW on TNN.

Of course, nobody is mentioning that Smackdown has spent the last few months competing against and Friends. Oh no, wrestling is dying. That HAS to be the reason.

Bob Ryder reported this one.

MAYBE SWEET STAN CAN SCORE THE JOB?

Dave Scherer had this in his Daily Lariat.

Bobby Eaton was let go from his WWF gig as an Instructor in Memphis last week. Apparently, the WWF wasn't happy with his performance and gave him his walking papers with two months worth of severance pay.

Jim Cornette is currently trying to get Eaton a second chance at Ohio Valley Wrestling. The kicker is, Eaton would work for free. The suggestion is that he can work at OVW during the eight weeks that his severance covered, and if he proves himself to the Boss, he could get a second chance at Memphis for a paycheck.

Eaton was asked to comment, but no one could understand what he was mumbling. 

OH THANK GOD HE'S FINALLY GONE!

AOL/Time Warner made use of that clause in many WCW wrestler's contracts that say they reserve the right to terminate the contract after every "cycle" of a certain time frame. Disco Inferno and Konnan have gotten the ax. By the time June rolls around, both men will be Free Agents. 

If the WWF isn't interested, Konnan will probably be heading back to Mexico and Disco will be reeking of talent at an Indy Show near you.

BLAME THE COMMIES!!

Hugh "General Rection" Morrus was mighty peeved at a fake interview that he never gave and tried to set the record straight on his site.

Although not addressing any specific subject matter within the interview, he loudly and clearly stated that he was proud, happy, and thrilled to be a part of the WWFE and is only working Indy dates to keep himself into that sexy round shape. He was really mad, he wrote in ALL CAPS.

DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB JUST YET

Who will be Announcing the WCW show, if there is one, is not a priority with the WWF just yet. Joey Styles will probably get a shot, but he'll have to prove himself before getting hired. Word is that Joel Gertner and Cyrus have about as much chance of getting a shot as Gordon Solie does. 

That's from RFVideo.

FINALLY, SOMETHING FOR MALENKO TO DO

The WWF plan on finally pushing their light heavyweight talent division.... seriously. With the addition of Jerry Lynn and Tajiri on the roster now, and a wealth of small sized WCW talent available, they certainly have the tools to make it work. The company is also thinking about talking to Super Crazy. 

Side note, Tajiri has a reputation for not selling moves. The WWF Locker room knows this and many plan on personally schooling him on the subject.

That's from RFVideo too.

BUT, PLUGS

Two new columns went up here at 411.

Ron Gamble's Explain THAT offers select cuts from Vince Russo's org chat and Message Board reactions. I already did something similar to that, but I guess the feeling is that you can never have enough Russo. 

Josh Nason has a new The Fight Club posted. It's covers the popular theme among the Internet these days.... namely, the WWF Sucks And Here's Why.

Tomorrow is the last day of the 411 Fleer Trading Card Trivia Five Day Win Free Stuff Contest. Keep an eye on the 411 Message Board all day and night tomorrow. Blow off work. Skip School. Wait until Saturday to go to The Mummy Returns and chant "Die Scorpion King, Die whenever Rocky shows up on screen. The movie will be huge, it ain't going anywhere for awhile.

Lastly, this won't be a regular feature, but this letter gave me a chuckle:

Hey Chris, Keep up the good work on the news reports; its the quality news Ashish usually covers, but now it has that classic Hyatte spin. I have a funny story for you. I was telling my uncle, who is a big wrestling fan and an avid 411 reader(he loves reading And Another Thing) about Ashish being ill and you taking over his duties. I don't know how but he kept a straight face, looked at me, and said, "Sounds like a work to me..." Classic wrestling fan reaction. I thought you might get a laugh out of that. Tell Ashish get well soon.

Mark Dennis

Hey Ashish, Mark Dennis says get well soon!

There, done and done

This is Hyatte